Break the silence.

Chinese New Year was sooooo good.
So much so that I don't really wanna come back to KL anymore.

Not that I benci anyone here.
But I dread work.

Yesterday, I worked till this morning.
Due date is Thursday.

Why did I stretch myself like that?
I donno, fear of rejection I guess.

My squashed brain and tired body shout "Surrender"!
But something inside of me whispers "Hang on".

At 2am this morning. I talked to a friend.
Very wise indeed. She said that if I'm so scared that I can't perform well in what I'm doing, it only means this: "Deep down, you really love what you're doing".

Sorry, defeat. Not this time.


Here's what Daniel N. Nelson has to say:
"Defeat is being compelled to alter behavior to one's own detriment.
Rather than imposed by others' strength, defeat can occur without war or an opponent.
Defeat ultimately is self-failure - the symptoms of which are an irreparable imbalance between perceived or real threats and socioeconomic, political and military capacities.
In that regard, defeat is the utter breakdown of individual, community, or national security."


Anyway, silence is a good recovery. To all who follows my blog.
If I'm silent. Don't worry. I'm merely taking a healing break from work and life.

But blogging will continue. Because life goes on.

The day the dam broke.

In case you wonder why I didn't blog.

Mon
See sun - 7:50am
See bed - 1:00am

Tues
See sun - 8:15am
See bed - 2:00am

Wed
See sun - 8:00am
See bed - 12:00am

Thurs
See sun - 8:15am
See bed - 5:00am

Fri
See sun - 7:50am
9:30 am
Stupid gay colleague suddenly went crazy and threw threats at me just because I haven't had the time to look at his brief.

First sign of disaster - Water level rose to uncontrollable level.

SC (stupid colleague): Are you ok?
Me: No! Why are you being so difficult? (Trying to choke back my tears but failed)

Me: It's not that I don't want to read your job brief. (Gasping for breath, choking on tears) I have no time! I slept 3 hrs today and (Gasping for breath, choking on tears) came in to work by 9am because I can't finish my job.

Why are you threatening me? What did I do wrong? I'm actually quite easy to work with already. What do you want from me?

-SILENCE-

SC: Yea. You're right. It's just me. I'm so sorry! Sorry sorry. (Slowly walking away from me) Please forgive me.

[Flood continued terrorising my face for the next 30 minutes.
I had to hide in toilet.]

SC walked into my room again at 10:30am.
"Hey, I'm actually not that nasty one. We can talk if you want, k?"
If I'm not a Christian, you'll see me waving my longest finger at him.


Sigh. Approval for my job (I've been working on it since Monday) only came at 5pm just now.
Unfortunately, a lot of new jobs piled up.
Need to work from home during weekend.


FACT
Girls are usually more 'emo' (emotional) when they don't get enough sleep.

Lessons to be learnt
1. Sometimes, even man can have PMS-like symptoms (sudden anger & irrational behaviour).
2. Don't mess with someone who can really cry.

Tsunami-ed

Dreadful amount of work.
18 hours of suffocation (more to come).
Anticipated rejection.

I need a break. =(

Out of the Blue

Where in the world did that come from?

Yesterday, I was happily heading to my dinner location when something really unpredictable came my way.

I got a call from the most unexpected person.
This person then asked me the most unexpected question.
My reaction was of course unexpected.

What is the full story I won't reveal, let's just say that someone is interested in hiring me and sort of asked me to name my price.

Was I tempted? Very. But I didn't tell him how much I'm worth. Haha.
I can always freelance, right? =)

Moral of the Story?
It feels good to be wanted.


Oh Lord, I can feel your blessing. Happy weekend everyone!

Are you feeling lucky?

Normally, when people say, "I'm so lucky", I'll say something along the lines of "I'm so blessed". I don't think it's about being politically correct just because I'm a Christian but rather I really believe that someone else really wanna bless me with something or someone and all these 'good things' are not my own doing.

I came across an interesting article written by Professor Richard Wiseman who has been studying 'luck' for 13 years. This is what he has to say about it:

"Unlucky people are generally more anxious than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.

They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends.

They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs."


To a certain extent, I agree with what he has to say. Suddenly this made a bit more sense:

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek.

For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble"


I'm not saying what Professor Richard Wiseman said is be all and end all or the ultimate proof that it's not luck that governs the outcome of our life.

Rather, what I want to put across is this comforting thought that by not worrying we won't miss out on better things that lie ahead of us, freely given by Someone who sees our needs.

Even Moses can't beat this one.

I'm not talking about parting the Red Sea here. It's FREEZING the wave that I'm talking about. Seriously, this is madness.

Then again, it could be just a normal frozen glacier. Nonetheless, it's still impressive. I'll like to take pictures with one of these someday. =)

Raining mucus

Gonna be on MC today. Thank you, doc.

Just for the fun of it.

I lurve blue M&Ms. It just tastes better. Haha... Don't know if it's psychological or what, but yea, they really do taste better (well, to me at least).

Found out that you can create your own M&M character on this website - http:www.becomeanmm.com

So cool eh? I've created an orange colour Ciss M&M. Don't think it looks like me. But it's not my fault, THAT'S BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ANY LONG STRAIGHT HAIR AVAILABLE FOR ME TO CHOOSE!




Everyone, say hello to The One, The Only Ciss the Orange!

Life's Bliss

A Summary of My Working World This Week - it's a DOG'S life

Day before day before yesterday - Dreadful
Day before yesterday - Horrendous
Yesterday - Nightmarish

Today - Jubilee.
Finally can sleep soundly tonight.



It's the case of a young lady in advertising struggling to come up with an ad that her boss is happy with. Sigh... tragic. You won't believe how unbelievably, really, truly, extremely, undoubtedly, unquestionably,incredibly, superbly, very happy I am now when she finally gives her nod of approval.

Sometimes I wonder why we (generally) look up to them so much.

Discounts!

Just got an email from GSC. They're giving me a complimentary ticket for any movie coz my birthday is coming up! Woohoo!

I know there are a few other places or services that offer birthday discounts or vouchers, e.g. Digi Prepaid (50% birthday bonus) & Giordano. So I can get the most out of MY DAY. Haha.

Anywhere else offers birthday bonuses/discounts/perks/goodies?

Thursday = Friday

Sweet. Weekend just got a day closer for me.

Company has declared tomorrow as a holiday because Saturday is Awal Muharram (I donno what has that gotta do with anything, it's not like I work on Saturdays either! Haha. But they call it a replacement holiday. So, oh well...)

Anyway, I'm not complaining. ANY holiday is welcomed, whatever the reason.

Ahh... life is sweet. Time to book appointment for a new hairdo & facial (while the rest of the world is still working!) WUAHAHAHAHA...

Love my company. What a brilliant boss I have.

No oomph...

Energy zapped.

Can't think.

Good night.

I see Bruce Lee

Open your eyes.

This is for those who can't wake up for nuts in the morning.

If you still can't wake up. Try strangulation or try this.

This is a must watch. Trust me.

I didn't know that!

LOOK WHAT I'VE FOUND:


The names of Popeye's four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card.

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

'Muhammad' is the 22nd most popular first name in the world.

Most lipstick contains fish scales. (Eww...)

Over 2,500 left-handed people a year are killed from using products made for right-handed people. (Oh no... my life is in danger)

Porcupines float in water.

Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

The good, the bad & the ugly.

Today, it is the ugly's turn.
Heaviness haunts me at times like this.
I know that today is the last day of the week. But isn't it pathetic if I seek refuge behind 'weekends' and deal with life's issues only when Monday comes back on the calendar? Let's face it today.


Someone once told me that I am a fighter.
My first thought was: 'Oh no, that's bad. People think that you like to stir up shit.' In Mandarin, we call this '唯恐天下不乱'. Direct translation means 'The only fear is when there fails to be tribulation in this world'!


Of course I know that's not what they meant (I hope not) but I was asking myself why and what am I fighting for? Is it worth it at the end of the day? Because he who fights gets hurt the most.


I was told that the problem with human is not that we are hard to be satisfied. It is that we're often satisfied too easily.


Satisfaction is far from fulfilment. It's probably the most deceitful form of self-gratification.
It drives people to opt for second bests because it gives just enough to satisfy.
It sways a lot of decisions to choose what pleases the eye, regardless how potent what the eye lusts after. (Think Eve, people)
It causes people to never wait longer, never give more, never think deeper, never strive harder, never fight...


I have a love-hate relationship with 'satisfaction' (* Sigh). Of course, I do enjoy it (I mean, hello? who doesn't like the feeling of replete after a hearty meal?) but at the same time, I know it doesn't last.


This is a new year. My sincerest apology goes out to those whom I have offended in my course to fight for what I believe in (both for myself & for others).


It's not that I hate you (quite the opposite actually). I fight because I am not satisfied. Allow my 'naivety' (if you perceive it as so) to make me believe that there is greater reward in fighting. Who knows? Maybe 'contentment' is just one fight away.

Who's in charge?

Me?
Or my work?

I think my work is the boss. I'm still at work. HOW COME?
Why is LIFE SO DIFFICULT?

Days like these (especially after a long holiday) make me wanna go back to Sabah and retire.
I'm serious. All I need now is to age very quickly. So, I'll have an excuse.

Hmmm... Then again, do I want all the wrinkles and sagginess that come with it?
Hehe... maybe not (Argghhh... I'm such a slave to vanity).

Ooh Yes!

Half a day is gone.
Instead of feeling sad because I'm half a day older than yesterday,
I feel super happy. Like about to launch off into space and freedom in a ballistic capsule.

All because tomorrow is holiday,
The day after tomorrow also holiday,
The day after the day after tomorrow also holiday, and
The day after the day after the day after tomorrow ALSO holiday!

Ooh yes, I love Malaysia.
=)