Friday, January 05, 2007

The good, the bad & the ugly.

Today, it is the ugly's turn.
Heaviness haunts me at times like this.
I know that today is the last day of the week. But isn't it pathetic if I seek refuge behind 'weekends' and deal with life's issues only when Monday comes back on the calendar? Let's face it today.

Someone once told me that I am a fighter.
My first thought was: 'Oh no, that's bad. People think that you like to stir up shit.' In Mandarin, we call this '唯恐天下不乱'. Direct translation means 'The only fear is when there fails to be tribulation in this world'!

Of course I know that's not what they meant (I hope not) but I was asking myself why and what am I fighting for? Is it worth it at the end of the day? Because he who fights gets hurt the most.

I was told that the problem with human is not that we are hard to be satisfied. It is that we're often satisfied too easily.

Satisfaction is far from fulfilment. It's probably the most deceitful form of self-gratification.
It drives people to opt for second bests because it gives just enough to satisfy.
It sways a lot of decisions to choose what pleases the eye, regardless how potent what the eye lusts after. (Think Eve, people)
It causes people to never wait longer, never give more, never think deeper, never strive harder, never fight...

I have a love-hate relationship with 'satisfaction' (* Sigh). Of course, I do enjoy it (I mean, hello? who doesn't like the feeling of replete after a hearty meal?) but at the same time, I know it doesn't last.

This is a new year. My sincerest apology goes out to those whom I have offended in my course to fight for what I believe in (both for myself & for others).

It's not that I hate you (quite the opposite actually). I fight because I am not satisfied. Allow my 'naivety' (if you perceive it as so) to make me believe that there is greater reward in fighting. Who knows? Maybe 'contentment' is just one fight away.

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